Asian Girl Girl
âexperiences From âthe Flowâ (19): Another Good Tilt With a Bar Girl?â
By Carl â€œJ.C.â€ Pantejo, Copyright March 2008
(Author â€œMy Friend Yu â€“ The Prosperity Mentor,â€ Copyright August 2007. Pantejo – Y.N. Vurce Publishing.)
â€œProsperity: The eternal flow of all thatâ€™s good in lifeâ€¦â€
*Below is the nineteenth episode based on a series of real life events experienced by the author. The only deviations from the truth may be the names of people and places. These stories are also incorporated in â€œMy Friend Yu â€“ the Prosperity Mentor: Book II,â€ Pantejo – Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: 2008.
The naÃ¯ve customer (a person not savvy at â€œThe Gameâ€ of Thai bars) doesnâ€™t understand the following: The main thing a Bar Girl sees when a man comes into their bar is the amount of dollar signs he is capable of producing.
And, of course, Bar Girls are experts at helping customers part with their money!
This article is mainly for those fearless souls who, in spite of the discussions we had about Asian Bar Girl/Western Man Relationships in â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (18)…,â€ still insist on having a serious relationship with a Bar Girl.
- A Blissful State -
You believe that you have found a partner that loves you and makes you happy. She is young, beautiful, sweet, and sexy – everything you could not find in your home country, right?
Sure, she is not perfect, especially in the language and finance areas; but when you weighed the Pluses against the Minuses on Your Scale, the Scale tilted toward Obvious Compatibility.
- Devilâ€™s Advocate -
Okay, now I got to be the a$$hole, the party-pooper, the spoiler, etc.
But I do this with ultimate empathy, my friend.
I do this because I donâ€™t want you to end up as a statistic, one of the thousands of Farangs (Thai: foreigners) that think theyâ€™ve found the woman of their dreams, only to find out (in short order) that reality doesnâ€™t match their idealized notions of co-habitation with an Asian woman.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but believe me, what Iâ€™ve got to say may:
1. Save you a lot of heartache, headaches, and bankruptcy.
2. Help you maintain (or improve) your current blissful state for as long as possible.
3. Raise some questions whose answers, however distasteful, will make you a wiser Farang in Thailand.
- Questions -
Where did you meet your Thai girlfriend/wife?
In a bar?
I ask you this because the oleâ€™ saying: â€œYou can take the girl out of the bar, but you canâ€™t take the bar out of the girl,â€ is a tried and true axiom.
The cruel fact is that there are only two times you can trust a Thai Bar Girl:
1) When she has just begun her career in the Bar Girl Profession and
2) When she is a bar-weary veteran, ready to retire.
All others are â€œin betweenâ€ (i.e., still on â€œactive duty,â€ practicing and perfecting their sex appeal, schemes, and routines).
A mid-career Bar Girl in â€œThe Gameâ€ is quite a sight to be seen, indeed.
She means to be a key player in â€œThe Gameâ€ and will do anything to get the most money, as fast as she can, from the â€œcustomer pool â€“ menâ€.
For these women, men are only regarded as: past customers, prospective customers, current cash cows, or merely toy/playthings that pay).
In their minds, men are definitely not: friends, lovers, non-paying boyfriends or husbands; in short, men are merely things, not real people with feelings, hopes, and desires).
Why is this so?
Although each Bar Girl is a unique individual, the following are common reasons. In part or parcel, these conditions contribute to their cut throat callousness – the â€œsharp teeth within their cute, beautiful smilesâ€:
1. Professional Objectivity (staying focused on making money before she gets too old and â€œunmarketableâ€).
2. Protection from scoundrels (yes, there are many bad men out there).
3. A lack of â€œgood men role modelsâ€ in their lives. That is, most of the men theyâ€™ve seen throughout their lives were usually uneducated, lazy, abusive, or unreliable, often disappearing for years to forever. This is common in the rural, poverty stricken areas â€œup countryâ€ â€“ North Eastern Thailand.
4. Protection from being emotionally hurt. Since most foreigners come and go rapidly, itâ€™s stupid for them to get emotionally attached.
5. The only support system they have is the Barâ€™s social network of fellow Bar Girls, Mamasans, clean-up boys, and â€œkatoysâ€ (Thai: transsexuals). Leaving the bar scene means venturing into scary, uncharted waters without her usual friends.
6. Most are uneducated, not attending or finishing High School. What would they do and where would they go if they left the bar?
7. They have tried (or simply dislike) regular â€œdaytime jobsâ€ and were disillusioned with the hard work and low pay. The bar scene is all they know. It can be fun. Itâ€™s easy â€“ all one has to do is look pretty and entertain – AND definitely pays better.
Itâ€™s a system that swallows up thousands of â€œfresh from the farmâ€ girls and spits out seasoned, â€œbar-testedâ€ veterans.
- True Love? -
A young serviceman friend of mine in Japan told me that the woman (an Asian woman) he met at a bar in the infamous â€œhonchâ€ area outside of Yokosuka U.S. Naval Base was truly in love with him.
He actually considered asking her to marry him.
And he wanted some advice from â€œa salty dogâ€ (meaning: me).
His naivety was painful to observe.
In him, I saw a young version of myself, full of all the right motives, but without the where-with-all that only comes from years of schlepping in and out of Asian bars.
My response to him?
â€œGo back there and tell her youâ€™re out of money. Better yet, tell her that you want to move in with her, but you need to borrow money until payday. Good luck, son. Iâ€™ll talk to you next week.â€
Of course, he was singing a totally different tune when I saw him a week later. He was very pissed-off and his comments about her were acidic, bordering on murderous.
I told him to chill out.
â€œDonâ€™tâ€™ take it personal. A girlâ€™s gotâ€™ta eat. Think of it this way: Youâ€™re mixing her business with your pleasure. If you really think itâ€™s love, wait, wait, and wait! And for Godâ€™s sake always know where your valuables are!â€ I said.
I donâ€™tâ€™ know whether my words sunk in (or not) because I havenâ€™t heard from him for over a decade now. I can only hope that my words prevented a few personal disasters.
Ah, Bar Girls. I could go on and on about them.
Theyâ€™re amazing. Arenâ€™t they?
Theyâ€™re terrible. Arenâ€™t they?
- Some Advice: Take it or Leave it, Your Choice -
Since only a fraction of one percent of Asian Bar Girl/Western Man relationships succeed (usually because she is either a rookie or a ready-to-retire veteran), I will be submitting a short list of things to ponder at the end of this article.
If you met your â€œcompatible partnerâ€ in a bar, I advise you to have a healthy paranoia.
Donâ€™t go buying a car for her. Or even worse, a house in her name! (As ridiculous as this may sound, it happens frequently in Thailand).
In short, donâ€™t go broke over her.
I have too many friends who have taken out unsecured, personal loans and maxed out their credit cards over Bar Girls whoâ€™ve long since disappeared.
In fact, I know of three individuals who came home from work to a barren house or apartment. No furniture, refrigerator, TV, stereo, clothes, dishes, etc.! Everything was gone! Nothing, I mean nothing was left! My friends literally had to borrow money for food and sheets!
Just wait and watch.
It might sound like a prison sentence to you, but waiting and watching not only protects you from being ransacked; it also gives you time to observe her true character – in every light.
A good rule of thumb, if she says sheâ€™s new, is at least triple the time she â€œsaysâ€ sheâ€™s been working in the bar. Of course, you may never know the true length of her Bar Girl career; so itâ€™s a safe bet to assume whatever she tells you about it is a â€œlow-ballâ€ lie.
If sheâ€™s a veteran, waiting at least 18-24 months is a conservative time span to consider.
Patience and wariness will prevent much of the emotional turmoil and financial catastrophes so commonly found among â€œexâ€ Asian Bar Girl/Western Man relationships.
Additionally, if she is (or looks) older than 20, look for the following hallmark signs of veteran Bar Girls:
1. Nocturnal living. Even after months with you, she canâ€™t get out of bed until 1:30-3:30PM. In fact, getting up early to see the sunlight gives her a raging headache. Also, she will display the demeanor of a vampire that has been violently disturbed from her cryptic slumber.
2. She is a total slob (worse than Oscar from â€œThe Odd Coupleâ€) and canâ€™t cook â€“ even a piece of toast â€“ because sheâ€™s too used to hotel cleaning staff, room service, restaurants, and 7-11 â€œcup noodlesâ€.
3. She appears to have very few belongings. Why? They are strewn about her co-workers apartments or â€œexâ€ boyfriendâ€™s places. Bar Girls are like gypsies; they are experts at making hasty get-aways.
4. Sheâ€™s a spendthrift. Forget â€œlike water through her fingers,â€ â€œairâ€ is more like it! The cost of her â€œdaily needsâ€ easily surpass the normal, daily salary of any hardworking, college-educated, Thai worker.
5. In spite of no formal schooling (i.e., a university degree or night English classes at a Language School), she suspiciously speaks above-average English.
6. She disappears at a momentâ€™s notice for hours and her explanation upon returning doesnâ€™t hold water (a blatant lie).
7. She can drink you under the table.
8. You find drug paraphernalia.
9. She always wants to include â€œher friendsâ€ in everything that you two do. In fact, she will always choose time with her Bar Girl comrades over any time alone with you. Her overdependence on (and lavish affection for) her girlfriends will have you wondering if she is actually a bi-sexual. (And I know what youâ€™re thinking. No, she is not a bi-sexual who likes to share!).
10. Sheâ€™s constantly on the phone at odd hours with her â€œfamily,â€ especially the male members of her â€œfamilyâ€.
If the majority of the above items describe your current partner, she is probably not in the â€œnewbieâ€ Bar Girl category: and therefore, should not be trusted without a long (a very long) trial period.
Sorry to be so blunt; but I must humbly confess that Iâ€™ve â€œbeen there and done that, mateâ€.
Again, when in doubt, wait, observe, and for Godâ€™s sake, protect yourself.
Did you hear me?
I said, â€œWait. Observe. Then wait and observe some more.â€
After that, you can make up your own mind based on your own real life, â€œhard-knocksâ€ experience.
Continued in â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (20): Maintaining and Improving your Good Tilt.â€
â€œUntil next time, find â€˜The Flowâ€™ and jump in!â€
Your Friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,
Carl â€œJ.C.â€ Pantejo
Farang, Asia, compatible, relationship, bar girl, sex, pluses, minuses, advice, wait, watch, scale, needs, desires.
Note: If you want to read more about Asian and Western cultural differences, finding unconditional love, exorcising past personal demons, and the Illusive Secret of Happiness, please read the following articles:
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™: From Heartbreak to Happinessâ€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (2): Coincidence or Synchronicity: FROM RELAPSE TO MIRACLES…â€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (3): LOST AND FOUND – Kindred Spirits and Mistakes made in Haste.â€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (4): LOST AND FOUND â€“ Meant to Be?â€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (5): â€œThe Strayâ€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (6): â€œNew Beginnings, Old Endingsâ€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (7) – Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Mythâ€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (8) Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Reality, Stupidity, and Hard Knocks.â€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (9): New Girlfriend, New Life.â€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (10): Farangs and Asians â€“ Polarized Views.â€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (11) – Farangs: In (or considering) a long-term Western/Asian Relationship? Read This Now!
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (12) – Farang: Square Peg, Round Hole? Compatibility Issues.â€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (13) – Farang: Compatibility Issues IIâ€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (14) – Farang: Tipping the Scales. Good or Bad?â€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (15) – Farang: Interpretation of Your Results.â€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (16) – Farang: Make Your Scale Sway or Walk Away.â€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (17) – Farang: Further Interpretation. Lopsided Scales.â€
â€œExperiences from â€˜The Flowâ€™ (18): A Good Tilt with a Bar Girl?â€
â€œHow Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgiveâ€
â€œRemember Who You Are!â€
â€œNeed to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read on. Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Illusive Secret of Happiness.â€
(By Carl â€œJ.C.â€ Pantejo and published internet-wide, keyword: [title of article] or â€œCarl Pantejoâ€)
Do you know website can i find collection of beautiful or sexy asian girl and model?
I’m looking for pictures of beautiful asian girls as well as sexy girls/models/celebrities. If you know, please share the web with me. Thanks.:-)
Asian women are beautiful and exotic, huh?
Veggie girl: Lake County pears held is sometimes difficult to know whether Bartlett Lake County was famous or vice versa. The stories of both are intertwined during the last century and more, resulting in a mutually beneficial agricultural tapestry living today.